


Proud

by celeste9



Category: Primeval
Genre: Angst, Backstory, Coming Out, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Military, Pre-Canon, Rites of Passage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-31
Updated: 2014-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-10 17:29:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1162507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day of Becker's passing out parade at Sandhurst doesn't go the way he had hoped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Proud

**Author's Note:**

> For 'backstory' in Primeval Denial bingo and 'rites of passage/coming of age' in Trope Bingo. With thanks to fredbassett for prompting.

Becker had never claimed to be exceptionally smart, but he’d always thought he possessed at least reasonable intelligence. He had cause to doubt that belief now.

_“Because I’m gay!”_

He’d simply burted it out, left it hanging in the air. Although, to be fair, as a silencing tactic it had succeeded admirably. His father hadn’t said a word after that.

No, he’d just stared in a sort of haze of fury, his jaw tightening and his body going still. For an instant Becker had worried that his father might actually hit him. He hadn’t, though. He’d only stood there in utter silence, that cold, unblinking stare fixed on Becker’s face. The silence had been worse than the shouting.

It was done now, though, and Becker could never take it back. He wanted to say it was a relief to have it in the open, to no longer have to carry the weight of his terrible secret. It wasn’t, though. It didn’t make him feel better.

And, really, his timing likely couldn’t have been worse. This wasn’t exactly how he had pictured his passing out parade at Sandhurst when he’d dreamed of it as a boy, when he’d dreamed of being an officer just like his father. (He had wanted so badly to be just like his father.) When he marched past the Old College building it would have been nice if his thoughts had been on his accomplishments rather than the distinct possibility that his father would disown him. They had never been close, after all, and this...

Becker’s earliest memory was of his father standing in the hallway in his uniform. A colonel in the British Army. Becker remembered thinking how strong and brave his father must be. He hadn’t really understood then what it meant to be a soldier but he knew it was what he wanted to be.

In school, when he’d been asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Becker had always answered, _a soldier._ Not a doctor or a lawyer or a teacher or a police officer or anything. Just a soldier. A soldier was someone who valued his country and its people above even his own life. A soldier was someone deserving of respect. A soldier was someone his father could be proud of.

Only he never was. Colonel Becker had never struck his son, but he had also never uttered a single word of praise. Not when Becker had brought home good marks in school, not when Becker had won rugby matches. Not even when Becker had been accepted at Sandhurst, as that, of course, was only expected.

He had thought this, at least, would do it. Becker had made something of himself at Sandhurst. He had stood out, he’d been worthy of notice. He was an officer now. This was the moment he had been working towards his entire life.

Finally he would be worthy of his name. The Beckers had long been officers in Her Majesty’s Armed Forces. The future ahead of him was wide open, as bright with possibility as he could ever have hoped for. The opportunity to prove himself, to show the sort of man he could be.

Becker would live up to his promise because he was Lieutenant Hilary Becker.

Or that’s the way it should have gone, anyway. He should have known better than to think he could ever live up to the man his father wished he was.

When he found his mother, after, he didn’t bother looking for his father because he knew he wouldn’t find him. Becker forced a smile and tried to remember that he should be proud, on this day of all days.

He should be proud.

**_End_ **


End file.
